How can men help during pregnancy ?
Supporting your partner through her pregnancy is a very important job. Pregnancy and childbirth can be exhausting both physically and emotionally, so helping her in any way you can will benefit her, your relationship and ultimately the baby.
These days, a pregnant woman’s partner is expected to be more involved than ever before. Of course, you might not be the one to give birth to your child, but there are so many ways you can get involved. And here’s the best part: your involvement can have positive effects not just on your relationship with your partner, but on the overall health and well-being of your partner and expectant child.
Numerous studies have shown the importance of partner support during pregnancy and the impact it can have on the mental and physical health of pregnant women and their babies. It has also shown that women who didn’t receive enough support from their partner had high levels of anxiety and depression.
Early pregnancy
For partners, finding out you’re going to be a parent can be a wonderful experience — but for some it’s terrifying. If the pregnancy is a surprise, partners often have a shock at first. This is normal.
It's usually best not to announce the pregnancy to other people until the end of the first trimester. You can use the time to get used to the idea of being a parent and thinking about how you will manage the changes a new baby will bring.
It's a good idea to be as involved as you can throughout the pregnancy — for example by going to doctor's appointments with your partner. Talking about your feelings will help you both deal with the emotions a pregnancy can bring.
The first trimester can be very physically demanding for your partner. Even though they don’t “look” pregnant yet, significant hormonal and physical changes are happening in their body. They may be exhausted, nauseous, dizzy and may even vomit (maybe a lot!). They will also likely have a very different palate than usual. Certain foods will make them gag and they may crave foods they never have before.
Your job here is to pamper your partner as much as possible. Let them sleep in, nap on weekends.
As your partner faces the changes in their body, their identity, and the rush of hormones of the first trimester, you can expect moodiness along with some depressed and anxious feelings. Usually all your partner needs is a good, non-judgmental ear and lots of extra love.
The second trimester
The second trimester is usually considered the honeymoon period of pregnancy.
As the pregnancy progresses, the morning sickness should become better and the pregnancy will become more obvious but that which is not uncomfortable yet.
The second trimester is the time to start thinking seriously about finances. Communicating openly and honestly with your partner will help create the positive relationship you will need as parents.
The second trimester is a good time to help your partner adopt healthy eating and lifestyle habits. You can support your partner at this time by helping her to have a healthy pregnancy, including by eating healthily, doing physical activity together like going for a walk.
Your partner's mood changes will probably settle now. Usually, at this point, your partner is feeling happy and excited that they are getting closer to meeting their baby. Participating in all the planning as well as the upcoming events can make a huge difference to her. Remember, this isn’t just her pregnancy and baby: it’s yours too.
Later in the pregnancy
The third trimester is often when pregnancy gets the most uncomfortable. The weight of her growing baby can really take its toll. They may experience backaches, round ligament pain, and even non-labor inducing contractions called Braxton Hicks contractions. They may also experience foot swelling and heartburn. Your partner will start going for a lot more check-ups in this trimester. As the pregnancy progresses, the morning sickness should become better and the pregnancy will become more obvious but that which is not uncomfortable yet.
Late pregnancy can be very uncomfortable for your partner. She may wake up often during the night, need to go to the toilet more. You can help her by massaging her, helping her to get comfortable, being patient when she starts cleaning the house ready for the new baby and learning a few pregnancy massage techniques that you can use during labour and delivery.
Your baby will be able to hear by now, so you can talk, read books or sing to them. This will help you bond with the baby even before they are born.
Your partner might stress about preparing for the baby, making sure she has all the things needed for and post birth. Showing up, running errands by buying those missed out things is a great way to show you care for her and the baby.
Partner support tips:
Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power and the more you learn about what is happening in your partner’s changing body, how it may affect their emotional and physical states and what sorts of challenges they may be facing, the better you can help and support them. The same goes for the healthy development of your baby and how to prepare for childbirth and postpartum. These are things that should be as much on your radar as they are on your partner’s.
Pregnancy books: Good, old-fashioned pregnancy books that you can check out of the library or buy at a bookstore are fantastic resources. They often have detailed illustrations or photos about pregnancy, along with helpful week-by-week details.
Childbirth classes, childbirth educators and your partner’s healthcare provider: Childbirth educators know almost everything there is to know about pregnancy and birth; you can attend a group class or even a private class. You can also reach out to your partner’s healthcare provider with any questions or concerns. Talking to friends and family: you can probably talk to your friends /family who have had experience in supporting their partner during and after pregnancy as they have had first hand experience
Get Involved
One of the main ways to show support is simply to show up. Go to any and all medical appointments your partner has. Participate in decisions about what prenatal tests you may want to participate in, which healthcare provider makes the most sense for your family and where to give birth.
The birth
The better prepared you are, the easier you will find the birth. You can talk to other partners who have been through it, watch videos, read a lot and attend antenatal classes with your partner. It's a good idea to discuss the birth plan together so you understand what she wants — although remember that this needs to be flexible.
During the birth, your role as a birth support partner is to give emotional and physical support and encouragement. You can help your partner by reminding her to breathe slowly, massaging her and helping her to get more comfortable.
You may be asked to cut the umbilical cord when the baby is born. You can bond with your baby straight away by giving them a cuddle next to your skin.
Parenthood can be daunting but hey, enjoy the ride!